Truths Revealed, Realization Occurs
by witches with awesomeness
Summary: He asked her out everyday. Everyday she turned him down. He was getting closer and closer to suicide, but then she saw and realized. He does love her. LEJP Oneshot


**Summary:** He asked her out everyday. Everyday she turned him down. He was getting closer and closer to suicide, but then she saw and realized. He does love her. JPLE One-shot

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any part of the Harry Potter world. _So don't try to sue me!!!_

James Potter was always afraid. Afraid of what she would say. It's odd; he'd asked her the same question everyday since second year and every time it happened the same way. He worried, he asked, she broke his heart, and then he contemplated suicide. Well, the suicidal thoughts didn't start until around the middle of fourth year but at the end of each day until then he was heart-broken.

The only reason he never killed himself was, ironically, because of her. He could never leave her here by herself. Not when the world is so dangerous, what with Voldemort and his 'death eaters' on the loose, and besides that, he had to make sure that the man she did give her heart to would treat her right. He knew he could never live with himself (so to speak) if he wasn't there and something happened to her. He would always be there whether she wanted him to be or not, and it was obvious that she did not.

She turned him down again. The love of his life crushed his heart again. Of course she didn't know that James cared so much about her. She thought that all these years he was just trying to annoy her, or that he's dated every non-slytherin female in their year except her, and he was going for a record, the complete set.

She never even considered the fact that it might hurt him every time she turned him down. She never once thought that he could be dieing just a little more each time she answered him with the same simple statement, "No, Potter!"

That is, until that one day when James Potter let his mask slip just for a second. She had just turned him down yet again, and while glaring at him, daring him to ask again; she swore she saw something change in his eyes. She saw horrible despair and heartbreak. She saw dejection and loss in those hazel eyes, like her answer was his death sentence.

She left dinner early, and headed to the common room. She couldn't get James Potter out of her head. '_Though, that has been happening a lot in the last few years,'_ she marveled. _'He would just get me so worked up that I'd find myself mentally ranting at him instead of paying attention in class. More recently; however, I've actually found myself admiring his dazzling smile, and his entrancing hazel eyes–Wait! _Dazzling _smile? _Entrancing_ hazel eyes? No, I meant _arrogant _smirk_ _and _dull_ hazel eyes. Yes, arrogant, dull… Are his eyes even hazel? How do I know that?'_

As she neared the portrait hole, she remembered what she saw in his hazel eyes. '_Oh yea, despair, dejection… Where did that come from? Do I really matter that much to him?' _She entered the common room and stopped dead in her tracks. James Potter, himself was sitting in front of the fire, head in his hands, muttering to himself and… '_CRYING! Is he crying? Wow! Either someone close to him has died, or he's crying over _me!_ Well either way I should try to comfort him, I mean he looks horribly distraught.' _

He didn't even look up as she approached him. He just kept mumbling. Something about, "Won't give me a chance… doesn't care… dieing… Lily…"

She sat down next to him. "Yes?"

He jerked his head up to look at her, and said quite breathlessly and wonderingly, "Lily."

She scooted a little closer and placed a hand on his arm, "James. I'm– sorry." And she didn't know why she did it, but she suddenly felt the impulse, and knew he needed it, but she leapt on him and gave him a humungous hug.

With his arms still around her and his face buried into her hair, he said, "Lily, I love you, I've loved you since the first time I ever saw you. I gave you my heart that day on platform 9¾. I asked you out for the first time on Halloween in our second year. I had been trying to get up enough courage since about the Halloween before. You broke my heart that day, and again every day after that–"

"–Oh James!" Sobbing, she pulled away from him slightly to look at him and said, "I'm _so_ sorry, I'm sorry for every mean thing I ever said to you when you've asked me out. I'm sorry I hurt you."

James continued, he had to get it all out now. "By the middle of fourth year I was depressed. The day before Christmas break was the first day I had suicidal thoughts. Its just gotten worse since then but I knew I couldn't leave you here. What if Voldemort got you? I'd never forgive myself. Today I cracked, I let my mask slip, it was just too much this time. I couldn't take it. But Lily, I don't blame you. Don't blame yourself, its not your fault, I don't want to make you feel guilty." He looked at her, "But if you could maybe just talk to me some, or even accept friendship, I think I'll be okay."

She could see desperation, longing, and love in those hazel eyes, and knew she couldn't hurt him anymore, and she couldn't hurt herself anymore, "I'm sorry James, but now I can't talk to you _some_, and I can't accept _friendship_.

Pulling away a little more and visibly sagging, James said, "Oh, well, I guess-"

"I need more James, and you need more." James looked up sharply "I think, I've loved you for quite a while now, since the beginning of term at least. I was in denial. I didn't want to love you, because I didn't think you actually loved me. I thought we would date for a week, maybe a month, and then you would dump me like all the other girls you've dated, except that for me, it would've broken my heart."

"Lily, The only reason I ever had a girlfriend who wasn't you, was to get my mind off you, I was trying to force myself into loving someone else. Only, it didn't work, I could never stop loving you."

"It's okay James, I'm here now and I don't intend on leaving."

**A/N:** This was my first story (Renee wrote most of all the others on our author page) so I don't know how well it turned out, but I'll hope for the best. I would appreciate it if you would review with more than whether you liked it or not. I'd like some criticism but no flames please. Thanks :-) Tess


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